Besan ke Pakode me
Heeng daal ke khaao,
6 cylinder sarkar degi...
.
.
.
.
.
Baki ki Gas,
khud banao.. ;
jan het mai jaari
Heeng daal ke khaao,
6 cylinder sarkar degi...
.
.
.
.
.
Baki ki Gas,
khud banao.. ;
jan het mai jaari
Friday, September 28, 2012
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Two difficult thing to achieve.
1. To plant your ideas in someone else's head.
2. To put someone else's money in your own pocket.
The one who succeeds in the first one is called a TEACHER.
And the second is called a BUSINESSMAN.
The one who succeeds in both is called a WIFE
The one who fails in both is called a HUSBAND!!!
1. To plant your ideas in someone else's head.
2. To put someone else's money in your own pocket.
The one who succeeds in the first one is called a TEACHER.
And the second is called a BUSINESSMAN.
The one who succeeds in both is called a WIFE
The one who fails in both is called a HUSBAND!!!
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Monday, September 3, 2012
Sindhi couple went to a sex therapist and asked,"Will u watch us have sex ? The doc looked puzzled but agreed. When the couple finished, doc said,"There's nothin wrong with ur intercourse", and charged 500. This happened for weeks. Finally the doc asked,"Whats exactly ur problem? Man said: She's unmarried, I'm married, so we can't use our homes,Taj is 11,500, Le Meridian is 10,000, here we pay 500, and get 450 from mediclaim!
Zaroori to nahi jo 'khushi' day ussi se "Mohabbat" ho",
'PYAAR' to aksar 'DIL' "TØRNE" walon se B ho jata hai
---
SWAMI VIVEKANAND Said "Yadi kisi raah par chalte hue aapke saamne 1 bhi samasya na aaye to samajh lena ki aap galat raaste par chal rahe ho.!
---
Tune sang dil ki inteha kr di,
mujhe dekh maine tujh pr zindgi fida kr di,
tujhe chaahne ka jurm hi kiya tha,
tune pal-pal marna meri saza kr di.....
'PYAAR' to aksar 'DIL' "TØRNE" walon se B ho jata hai
---
SWAMI VIVEKANAND Said "Yadi kisi raah par chalte hue aapke saamne 1 bhi samasya na aaye to samajh lena ki aap galat raaste par chal rahe ho.!
---
Tune sang dil ki inteha kr di,
mujhe dekh maine tujh pr zindgi fida kr di,
tujhe chaahne ka jurm hi kiya tha,
tune pal-pal marna meri saza kr di.....
An Australian Army Sniper goes to Rifle shop to buy new scope for his Gun.
Manager takes out one & says:
''This scope is so good,
U can see my house 1 km up on that hill".
Sniper looks through the scope & laughs :
''I see a naked man
&
A naked woman in the house''.
Manager looks in the scope
&
gives 2 bullets to sniper :
''I'll give U this scope free,
If U shoot my wife's head off
&
The guy's D-ck".
Sniper looks again in the scope :
''Well !
Seems like I can do that with one bullet."
Manager takes out one & says:
''This scope is so good,
U can see my house 1 km up on that hill".
Sniper looks through the scope & laughs :
''I see a naked man
&
A naked woman in the house''.
Manager looks in the scope
&
gives 2 bullets to sniper :
''I'll give U this scope free,
If U shoot my wife's head off
&
The guy's D-ck".
Sniper looks again in the scope :
''Well !
Seems like I can do that with one bullet."
Girl: Do u love me more than ur family?
Boy: No.
Girl: why ?
Boy: Ok, listen to this,
"When i started to walk, I fell, u were not there to pick me up. But my mom was..
When i went outside, u were not there to hold my finger but my dad was..
When i cried, u didn't give me ur toys to play but my brother n sister did..
My family is more precious than anything else.."
GIRL: aaaawwwww, so cute!, But wen u felt Horny, ur Family was not there to give u a Bl-wj-b, b-st-rd..
Boy: No.
Girl: why ?
Boy: Ok, listen to this,
"When i started to walk, I fell, u were not there to pick me up. But my mom was..
When i went outside, u were not there to hold my finger but my dad was..
When i cried, u didn't give me ur toys to play but my brother n sister did..
My family is more precious than anything else.."
GIRL: aaaawwwww, so cute!, But wen u felt Horny, ur Family was not there to give u a Bl-wj-b, b-st-rd..
Laloo sent his BioData 2 apply 4 a post in Microsoft USA. Few days l8r he got this reply:
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements.
Please do not send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.
Thanks
Bill Gates
Laloo prasad jumped wid joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a press conference-
"Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogi ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayi hai."
Every1 was delighted. He continued "Ab hum aap sab ko apna appointment Letter padhkar sunaungaa ? par letter angrezi mein hai isliye saath-saath Hindi main translate bhi karunga."
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad -Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiya
You do not meet -aap to milte hi nahin ho
our requirement -humko to zarurat hai
Please do not send any further correspondence -ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zarurat nahin
No phone call -phoonwa ka bhi zarurat nahin hai
shall be entertained -bahut khaatir ki jayegi
Thanks -aapka bahut dhanyavad
Bill Gates -Tohar Bilva
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements.
Please do not send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.
Thanks
Bill Gates
Laloo prasad jumped wid joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a press conference-
"Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogi ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayi hai."
Every1 was delighted. He continued "Ab hum aap sab ko apna appointment Letter padhkar sunaungaa ? par letter angrezi mein hai isliye saath-saath Hindi main translate bhi karunga."
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad -Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiya
You do not meet -aap to milte hi nahin ho
our requirement -humko to zarurat hai
Please do not send any further correspondence -ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zarurat nahin
No phone call -phoonwa ka bhi zarurat nahin hai
shall be entertained -bahut khaatir ki jayegi
Thanks -aapka bahut dhanyavad
Bill Gates -Tohar Bilva
An American Family-
Youngest Son: Dad, whats the difference between 'hypothetically' & 'reality'?:s
Dad turns to wife: Would you sleep with Tom cruise for 1 million?
Wife: Of course! I would never waste such an opportunity.X_X
Then Dad asks daughter: Would you sleep with Tom cruise for 1 Million?
Daughter: Yes He's my fantasy!:x
Dad asks elder son: Would you sleep with, Tom cruise for 1 million?
Elder Son: Why not? Imagine what I could do with that money!:O
Father turns to his younger son: You see son, 'Hypothetically' we're sitting with 3 million,:|
but in 'Reality' we are living with 2 pr-stitutes & 1 gay B-stard;)
Youngest Son: Dad, whats the difference between 'hypothetically' & 'reality'?:s
Dad turns to wife: Would you sleep with Tom cruise for 1 million?
Wife: Of course! I would never waste such an opportunity.X_X
Then Dad asks daughter: Would you sleep with Tom cruise for 1 Million?
Daughter: Yes He's my fantasy!:x
Dad asks elder son: Would you sleep with, Tom cruise for 1 million?
Elder Son: Why not? Imagine what I could do with that money!:O
Father turns to his younger son: You see son, 'Hypothetically' we're sitting with 3 million,:|
but in 'Reality' we are living with 2 pr-stitutes & 1 gay B-stard;)
Have you ever noticed that Rolls Royce & Bentley don't have commercials?
Reason:
They know the value of their product & that brings customers to them...
Lesson:
When you know your value you don't have to beg people to be in your life, to stay friends with you, to spend time with you or to love you..
Be confident in who you are..
Just remember NOT everyone can handle LUXURY..!
Reason:
They know the value of their product & that brings customers to them...
Lesson:
When you know your value you don't have to beg people to be in your life, to stay friends with you, to spend time with you or to love you..
Be confident in who you are..
Just remember NOT everyone can handle LUXURY..!
Sunday, September 2, 2012
It is Superb. I laughed for sometime reading this one!!! E'joy!!! Scene: Husband and Wife in Court getting Divorce.
The Problem:Who should get Custody of the Child?
Wife jumped up and said:"Your Honour I brought d child into this world with Pain and Labour So it should be in My Custody."
The Judge turns 2 Husband & says "What do You have to say in your defence?"
The Husband sat for a while contemplating then slowly rose.
"Your Honour. If I put a dollar in a Vending Machine and a Pepsi comes Out, whose Pepsi is it? The Machine's or Mine?"
Yeh sunke...Wife replied: "Judge Sahab...Bartan Mera...Doodh bhi Mera...Aur Usme Dahi jamane ke liye 2 boond Daalne se Dahi bana To fir Wo dahi kiska.?
Mera ya 2 Boond daalne wale ka"
Husband replied : "Typewriter me kagaz Maine dala, keys daba-daba kar Mehnat Maine ki, fir Chithi kiski? Typewriter ki ya Meri?"
Frustrated Judge (Getting
mad): "Abey Saale Agar Tu Chithi Haath se hi likh leta To ye Noubat hi na Aati..!=))
The Problem:Who should get Custody of the Child?
Wife jumped up and said:"Your Honour I brought d child into this world with Pain and Labour So it should be in My Custody."
The Judge turns 2 Husband & says "What do You have to say in your defence?"
The Husband sat for a while contemplating then slowly rose.
"Your Honour. If I put a dollar in a Vending Machine and a Pepsi comes Out, whose Pepsi is it? The Machine's or Mine?"
Yeh sunke...Wife replied: "Judge Sahab...Bartan Mera...Doodh bhi Mera...Aur Usme Dahi jamane ke liye 2 boond Daalne se Dahi bana To fir Wo dahi kiska.?
Mera ya 2 Boond daalne wale ka"
Husband replied : "Typewriter me kagaz Maine dala, keys daba-daba kar Mehnat Maine ki, fir Chithi kiski? Typewriter ki ya Meri?"
Frustrated Judge (Getting
mad): "Abey Saale Agar Tu Chithi Haath se hi likh leta To ye Noubat hi na Aati..!=))
A couple went to a
Sex therapist and asked,
"Will u watch us have sex?
The doc looked puzzled but agreed.
When the couple finished,
Docter said,
"There's notink wrong wit ur intercourse",
and charged 500.
This happened for weeks.
Finally the Docter asked,
"wats exactly ur problem?
Man said: she's unmarried, I'm married, so we cant use our homes,
Taj is 11,500
Meridian is 10,000
here we pay 500,
and get 450 from Mediclaim...!!!
Sex therapist and asked,
"Will u watch us have sex?
The doc looked puzzled but agreed.
When the couple finished,
Docter said,
"There's notink wrong wit ur intercourse",
and charged 500.
This happened for weeks.
Finally the Docter asked,
"wats exactly ur problem?
Man said: she's unmarried, I'm married, so we cant use our homes,
Taj is 11,500
Meridian is 10,000
here we pay 500,
and get 450 from Mediclaim...!!!
1)Q: Who is a gynecologist?
A: The only fool on the earth who looks for problems in a place where others find pleasure!
2)Q: What's the difference between a cricketer and a condom?
A: The cricketer drops the catch, and the condom catches the drop
3)Q: What is the difference between riding a bicycle and riding a woman?
A: To ride a bicycle you position your ass and then move your legs.
To ride a woman you position your legs and then move your ass
4)Q: What three things are common between the sun and a woman's underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night.
5)Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own
6)Q: What's common between men and video player?
A: Both go backward...forward.backward...forward...stop and eject
7)Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it
doesn't come means You are FUCKED..=))
A: The only fool on the earth who looks for problems in a place where others find pleasure!
2)Q: What's the difference between a cricketer and a condom?
A: The cricketer drops the catch, and the condom catches the drop
3)Q: What is the difference between riding a bicycle and riding a woman?
A: To ride a bicycle you position your ass and then move your legs.
To ride a woman you position your legs and then move your ass
4)Q: What three things are common between the sun and a woman's underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night.
5)Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own
6)Q: What's common between men and video player?
A: Both go backward...forward.backward...forward...stop and eject
7)Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it
doesn't come means You are FUCKED..=))